The Wii Condom Cometh and I loose A Day

I may have been kidnapped by aliens because I thought today was Thursday.

As I locked the building down for the night being the last one left in with access to a security wand able to arm the buildings defences (or alarm as people with a lack of imagination call it). I was a little confused when everyone kept saying "have a good weekend", as I forcefully evicted them using an electric shock prod so I could go home.

So anyway it's the weekend and I'm not ready for it, I'm not ready man! I usually have a Friday to daydream in as to what I will fail to accomplish with my weekend. As it is I actually spent the day doing work programming up a raid device for some disk customers, admittedly there is a deadline I need to make and an extra days work is always going to make it more likely I might make them but hey where's that in the grand scheme of things. To quote the late great Douglas Adams "I love deadlines I love the wooshing sound they make as they go by". Now I will have to fail to achieve something random.

So I'm now unprepared for the weekend, I could do anything ANYTHING! I probably won't, maybe I'll pick up the new Simpsons game that came out today it may be getting some mediocre reviews a 6 here a 7 there but hey it's the Simpsons. The futurama game was shit too (probably worse than the simpsons from what I've seen) but I still played the thing through because it was futurama and the little comedy scenes done by the original actors made it that much less rubbish at least to someone that likes the show. The Cut scenes were like sweet delicious candy embedded in a disgusting bitter peel infested Christmas pudding that was on fire while you tried to dig through it to get at the candy. That powerful metaphor probably stands here too, I played the demo and wasn't overly impressed. Still it will kill some time when I'm not typing away on the 3333.34 words I need to do to keep up my NaNoWriMo schedule. Maybe I'll get it on the Wii the mentioning of which allows me to neatly, nay seamlessly, segue into my next topic, the Wii Condoms.

Lots of people smashed lots of expensive equipment, injured animals, people, and priceless works of art at top French museums with the wiimotes. Evidence here. So Nintendo designed a special cover for the wiimote to make it less likely to slip and should it do so cushion anything it impacts. What they came up with is a semi transparent silicon rubber sheath that slips over the Wiimote and makes it less likely to slip but also acts as a shock absorber on the "sharp" end. It won't stop over excited idiots from punching each other out during a game of tennis or boxing or MySims but at least it may curb any potential class action lawsuits over the Wii or to give it its correct name the murder appliance.

They also offered them free to people who already owned a wii, I got my free ones today and have fitted one. They make the wiimote a bit bulky and springy and I'm not sure I like it. Though they do increase the heft of the device making it a more practically bludgeoning weapon. As to how well they protect stuff you throw them at I've yet to test them I'll leave it to wiitards to check they function in that regard


I saw the pictures of the condoms and decided against getting them. Maybe I should put a sign up in my living room "Fucktards who cannot keep hold of the wiimotes will be forcibly ejected...through the letterbox".

babychaos's picture

I got them because they were free not really because I felt any need for them. I find it hard to see how someone could be stupid enough to throw a wiimote across the room. Injuring people standing nearby is more plausible but I'm not sure a few mills of silicon rubber will do much to prevent injuries.

Evilmatt's picture

I spent a while playing Metroid prime 3 over the weekend and I think the Wiicondoms make the wiimotes slightly more comfortable for long term use. I tried some time with and then when the batteries ran out I took the thing off to change them and didn't bother putting it back on. It's probably marginal and it may be different for differently shaped hands but it seemed slightly more comfy with the things on less hand ache afterwards. Though they do make it a hassle to swap out the batteries.

Evilmatt's picture

What's Metroid Prime like? Any good?

brainwipe's picture


Evilmatt's picture