Summary - they are all useless, however I feel I should vote to make sure that the UKIP member does not get in.
The Pete "Readers Digest" of the candidates;
- Patience Tayo Awe (Independant) - Hippy, would be useless in any official capacity
- Barry Cooper (UKIP) - Furniture salesman, has no idea what the job entails. Suggests he could "bring experience into the team". Why not fuck off and perhaps let someone with experience have the job instead?
- Geoff Howard (Independant) - doesn't actually have a plan, hoping that the public will give him one.
- John Hownson (Lib Dem) - has been stabbed, robbed and is bad at driving. Should be locked up for his own, and everyone else's, safety.
- Anthony Stansfeld (Conservative) - only interested in protecting his posh mates home
- Tim Starkey (Labour) - Lib-dem turncoat, has serious commitment issues
I can't really see the benefit in any of them, however I'm particularly insulted by the UKIP guy. Assuming I can't do negative voting, it seems to be coin-toss between Tony and Tim, both of whom have bullshit political motivations.
This election is sorely missing the Monster Raving Looney Party entry, or someone who promises to deal out summary justice with a baseball bat.
Comments
I vote Peter G for Police Commissioner. Why? because he would hate that job and that would be funny.
I would be an awesome Police
Grand VizierCommissioner, ruling with aniron fist, fair and honest judgement. You may see a brief spike in crimeas I outlaw anything that I personally dislike, however under mysociopathiceffective and efficient guidance crime would quickly drop to remarkably low levels... Criminals would bebrutally executed with little or no evidence...ummm...brutally executed with little or no evidence.I would replace PCSO's with the far more effective (and cost-efficient)
MurderousBear Patrols. Thesepsychopathic killing machineslovable, child-friendly beasts would offer a natural, organic deterrent to criminals, as well as being self-feeding (and thus require no pay). I can confidently say that within a year of mydread reignappointment, there would hardly be any criminals left...after all, it's statistically very improbable that many people will...I for one welcome our new Grand Visier of Police Brutality overlords!
YAY! I love pigs. I've not posted this comment twice so that I can see "YAY! I love pigs" twice in the comments box on the main page.
Hang on a minute... Misterecho should do it. Commissioner Gordon gets a FUCKING BATPHONE.
I get a batphone? Ok, I need to register as a candidate.
(£100,000 pa in no way influenced my decision.)